This is a review of the DVD from the UK, which is rated 15, most likely for strong profanity, adult content, and very brief nudity.
********WARNING: POSSIBLE SPOILERS...The DVD is available in the UK only right now. I'm sure it will be avail in the USA soon, but in the meantime, I highly recommend you DO NOT read my commentary until you've seen the film.********
I was unsure how to review this movie, just as I've been unsure how to review ensemble pieces like GRAND CANYON and THE JOY LUCK CLUB. Some movies are so sprawling, so character driven, and so complex, that it's difficult for me to write a review that makes sense, but I tried anyway with IN MEMORY OF MY FATHER, a film that I've been waiting to see at least since 2003, when I believe it first appeared on the IMDb under Jeremy Sisto's name. What results is another huge, feverishly analyzed review...
Let me first say that without a doubt, IN MEMORY...has been worth the long wait, and that I really enjoyed every minute of it, and in doing so have gotten to know the unique storytelling style of Christopher Jaymes, director, writer and actor in this refreshing, well-edited dramedy about the death of a Hollywood movie mogul, the three sons he leaves behind, and the houseful of colorful characters who attend the wake in Dad's lavish Beverly Hills mansion.
Chris (Jaymes), having been bribed by the father offscreen to capture his death and the subsequent family gathering on video, hires not only several professional cameramen, but expects friends like Pat (a hysterically hilariously profane Pat Healy) to help too. When it becomes apparent that Dad has breathed his last, Chris and Pat respond by going into a fit of giggles over an inadvertent disturbance of the old man's bedclothes and the reaction of Dad's girlfriend Judy (Judy Greer) to the moments before death.
I deduced early on that some of the characters not only despise one another, but come across as extremely callous regarding the death of the old man. The critics who described some of these people as "narcissistic, shallow and unlikeable" may not be far off the mark. As a matter of fact, a few characters are downright hateful, in particular, Chris, who carries a very visible hostility inside him around certain members of family, and Pat, who spews insults like Old Faithful and seems like he's dying to have his ass kicked with all of his fight-picking.
But what these critics failed to comment on (or maybe even to notice) are the delicately explored family dynamics. This is dysfunction as gleefully presented as you could ever hope to see. The documentary of Dad's end of life is nothing more than an unwanted chore to Chris, and although he doesn't verbalize it outright, all you have to do is read the angry grimace on his face when he so much as thinks of his father or speaks to Dad's latest trophy girlfriend Judy, who is only 26 years old, and, as one would expect, an extravagant spender of her beloved's money.
Eldest brother Matt (Matt Keeslar) spends most of the film getting stoned with and whining to Judy about what he doesn't like about his current girlfriend, and having his fantasy of bedding young Judy brought to life. And why not? After all, Daddy is dead. Judy is single again and now so is Matt, who, in true family mode, breaks up with his girlfriend over the phone so that he and Judy can get right down to business.
Middle brother Jeremy (Jeremy Sisto) is no disappointment in the selfish department either. He is too busy being hurt over his wife Monet's (Monet Mazur) sudden romantic interest in a lesbian friend to care about Dad being dead.
When Uncle Aled, Dad's brother (played wonderfully by the late Tom Carroll) arrives to pay his respects, he is greeted with distilled cordiality by Matt and Jeremy, and with the usual nastiness of Chris, the youngest of the brothers, the only one of the three who never forgave Aled, or Mom, for running off together and breaking up the "happy" family.
Aled has a daughter, Meadow (Meadow Sisto) who is the product of his affair with the boys' mother. She is the ex-girlfriend of Pat, who naturally rattles endlessly on about how he doesn't want to see her, or her new boyfriend Eric (Eric Michael Cole), who unexpectedly spends the majority of the evening in the company of Jeremy, and they have some very entertaining discussions before deciding to do some X and change from their clothes into bathrobes. Not only do the two guys not care what any of Dad's friends think of their loungewear, Jeremy is seized with an overabundance of affection, grabbing Pat's ass repeatedly and slobbering all over brother Chris. Only in Hollywood, man.
In the meantime, Chris has another friend, actually an ex, Nicholle (Nicholle Tom), to help him with the documentary by interviewing visitors at the wake. Why Chris wanted Christine (Christine Lakin) to be interviewed is anyone's guess, since she "didn't really know" Dad. Christine is a teenager who has been "hanging out" with Chris, who is in his late 20s. Unable to reminisce about the decedent, she finds herself instead blabbing to Nicholle some of the secrets Chris has told about his past with Nicholle. Later, after fooling around with Christine a little, showing her how to smoke pot, and even slipping her a roofy, you find yourself asking, "How devious is this guy, really?"
The entire cast shines in this film. I have not seen such a fun performance from Meadow Sisto since CROSSING FIELDS. I already mentioned how fun it was to watch Healy throw his tantrums. Jaymes is excellent as the equal parts pathetic and demonic Chris. Keeslar and Greer were great together. Even more fun were the exchanges between Cole and Sisto as Eric and Jeremy, who, influenced as much by his wife's recent behavior as the ecstasy he's taken, embarks with Eric on a very interesting little "trip".
Where is all this going as Dad begins to go into rigor-mortis upstairs? Well, it's not going anywhere in particular, save the depths of these characters, all of whom I've found profoundly interesting. Does the film have a plot? Does it have any kind of message or moral? Does anything get resolved? Does anyone learn anything?
A lot of people would say, "No". And I believe that's why a few recent critics panned the film. Why love a film with nothing obvious to say, except that the lifestyles of the rich and famous are pathetic, narcissistic and frought with selfishness and debauchery? Why love a film that has no "Hollywood ending" with the angry son suddenly coming to realize that he's misunderstood dear ol' Dad, that Dad wasn't such an asshole after all, and the feel-good closing commentary about how great Dad truly was "and we just didn't understand his greatness" and blah blah blah?
Because the film doesn't take the obvious route. The three sons seem not to give two shits in hell that Dad is dead. They're drugging, fucking and even singing irreverent songs at the piano, hurling insults at Dad's poor older friends, throwing hissy fits left and right, until at one point, Uncle Aled expresses his disgust out loud. No worries. Chris has a perfectly devilish comeback should Aled dare to open his mouth.
It all comes to an ugly head when Dad's lawyer presents the boys with a video that the old man made in preparation for his death. Chris, angrier than ever, finally has the crying meltdown we all knew was in the mail. Nicholle is obliged to comfort him, and there's a hint that Chris and Nicholle might take another stab at a relationship before Nicholle finds out that Chris gave the teenage Christine some rohypnol and is completely disgusted with him.
It is here where you start to wonder, Gee, Chris really is angry. And hurt. If he didn't love his Dad, would he act like this?
No, he wouldn't. That is the plot of this film. Three boys, who grew up in a wealthy home, with all of the luxuries many of us will never have in this life. And yet all three of these guys are lonely, sad, angry and incapable of normal human emotional function. When you see flashbacks of "happier" days, when Mom was still around, you see what appears to be a rather distant father sitting nearby. He even leaves the room once as soon as the boys come in and sit with Mom, who appears to be warm and affectionate to her offspring. Is that why the kids are a mess? Mom is the attentive one while Dad is self-absorbed and uninterested? It's easy to make assumptions, to probe for simple explanations, to make judgements. The truth is, there are no easy answers. That flashback video where Dad got up and left the room could was only shown in milliseconds. He might have only gotten up to go to the restroom and was back in minutes.
As for me, I doubt it. In waking life, Dad just seems like a cold fish. Oh, maybe he did love the kids, but could never express it. Maybe he was just too much of a workaholic to pay attention to them, too busy climbing the ladder of success and whatnot. No matter what the story, and you won't have it spoonfed to you, in the end, the two older boys are doing their best to accept their Dad the way he was and move on in their own troubled lives, while Chris still struggles with unresolved anger and hatred. The genuine warmth of the three brothers' relationship is comforting though, and the one bright spot I found in the ending is that Chris had Matt and Jeremy to lean on, whether he worked through his shit or not.
Sounds like a sad and dismal film the way I've told it. Honestly, its equal parts comedy and drama. The comedy, beautifully timed and perfectly, wonderfully, gleefully delivered, had me in stitches. The drama is less obvious, hidden skillfully underneath the raucous laughter. And a film this irreverent would seem as cold as ice at first glance. But there is warmth, in surprising places. For instance, who knew that big-spending Judy would be so sad over Dad's death that she would lock herself in the room with him and put lip balm over his chapped mouth while talking to him about her day as though he was as alive as ever? This film made me dig deep, and made me think very hard, which is why I love it.
Back to IN MEMORY OF MY FATHER
in memory of my father