SPOILERS!
Please do not read until you have seen the film!Thank you to Mari for assist with translation
The Waitress is a beautiful indepenent film lovingly directed by Adrienne Shelly, who wrote the screen play too. She even wrote pretty songs. She was very invested in this motion picture, and the love glows in it. She made sure every small detail was true to her vision as she wrote this script while pregnant with her little daughter.
Prior to my comments of the movie, I want to say that when you see that I write some things about characters that mightn't be so flattering and shows their faults, that is my intention. Most of my comments will be of the character Earl. And even the lead role of Jenna Hunterson is not a perfect human being. I will mention something later about the birth of her child.
The Waitress tells the story of people in a small town in an unnamed place. The only thing we know is that it is in the deep south states of America. There is the Waitress Jenna (Keri Russell), her loser husband Earl (Jeremy Sisto), Jenna's friends at work Dawn (Adrienne Shelly) and Becky (Cheryl Hines), their high strung manager named Cal (Lew Temple) and crust old Joe the owner of the restaurant they work in (Andy Griffiths). These people are as down home southern as you wish for, with their slow talking accents, their friendly hospitality and their excellent cooking and taste in foods, but as they are charming, they are not perfect. They all have shortcomings, and that is what makes this film so real and easy to relate.
Jenna hates her marriage to Earl and desires to leave and start a new life far away. She would be reluctant to leave Dawn, Becky and Old Joe behind if Earl was not so unbearable. She is saving money. That was one thing that was very frustrating to me. Why hide it in the home where Earl will surely find it? I would have hidden it at work someplace or given it to her trusted girlfriends to safekeeping.
Why does Jenna despise Earl so badly? Because he is an oppressor. His personality is the very fundamentals of oppression. The oppressor begins as an unhappy person who has no coping method except to break the spirits of another. That is how he gains power and makes himself feel good. Another important trait is dehumanizing or minimalizing the person they oppress. We learn soon that Jenna has a love for making pies and thinks of having her own pie restaurant in the future. She has dreams and goals for her life, but Earl informs her that these dreams are less important than her obligation as wife to take care of his needs. He comes first, he says, and while I don't want to start a problem with others, I am afraid that in some places, in America and elsewhere, men are raised to believe that woman is only there to serve her man, and her own mind and thoughts and dreams and talents are not important at all.
Yes, to serve her man and to bear children for him. Jenna finds out she is having Earl's child and is completely filled with anger and despair. Why now? She says, just when I am going to leave Earl and have a new life? What will a baby do except keep her stuck with Earl? and there will be no more opportunity to leave, because babies are expensive and Earl controls the money.
He wants to be the most important thing in her life. He controls her by demanding her money from her work, refusing to let her have a car, and constantly saying What do you need money for? I give you everything you need. Why do you want to go to a pie contest? Your pies aren't important as I am! He objectifies her all through the film. Clearly he is insecure and afraid. His biggest fear is that Jenna will run away. Then he will be alone and it is too much to bear for him to be alone with only himself. It is easier to keep Jenna tightly by his side, make her feel miserable, insignificant, and her dreams stupid and worthless. This is what emotional abuse is all about. The only question you have is why? Why is Earl so terrible? And you really don't get a clear answer.
The strangeness of Earl is that in his terrible way, he believes he loves Jenna. He is often seen sitting close to her, cuddling to her. Even while they sleep, he keeps his arm around her so he can feel if she is leaving him in the night. He is the only one who still wants to have sex in the marriage. He equates sex with his affection and love for her and truly believes he serves her needs that way as well. He is oblivious to the fact that not only Jenna no longer loves him, but he disgusts her and she hates him.
Earl is clearly a very unhappy, somewhat angry and strangely, desperately lonely person. Why did he change? What happened to him? What was he like before the marriage? Was he the charming kind who is very sweet while the couple was dating and then became the real Earl after the honeymoon? Over the years, he smother all the love from Jenna until she has nothing left but contempt for him. Does he feel like a loser because he knows what a great pie chef Jenna is while he works at some boring office job? Has Earl realized that Jenna should have been destined for greatness with her pies, that she brings happiness to people with her pies because she made them with all of her soul and heart? So many questions!
At one point in the film, Earl discovers Jenna has secret money hidden in the home, and after shouting loudly at her, falls to his knees sobbing hysterically. His terror of her leaving, the loss of control of her, the fact that Jenna is an individual person who had the courage to hide a secret from him and not being his robot slave. It is an incredible scene. He insist she tell him that the money was for a gift for him, and when she repeats what he wants her to say, as she has wisely decided to do when dealing with him, it does not matter to him that she could be lying. When Earl hears what he wants, his feeling of control comes back.
This performance of Jeremy Sisto is amazing, complex, frustrating and tragic. When the time of the baby's birth arrives, Earl is seen sitting at Jenna's side, kissing her hand, snuggling to her like always. There is something loveable in those scenes, in spite of what you know of him.
When the baby is born, Earl who wanted a son, looks of disappointment. What would he treat a daughter like? And while we are on this subject, what would Jenna have been like if she had had a boy? From the very outset of her pregnancy, she and her friends seemed to believe (perhaps to hope) that the child would be a daughter. What if the opposite had happened? Would Jenna truly have been joyous? Or would she have told Earl to take it? Would a boy child have reminded her too much of Earl? Hard questions. But when I watched the film I could not help but ponder this.
The characters of The Waitress are imperfect. The distraught Jenna falls into a love affair with her obstetrician Dr. Pomatter (Nathan Fillion) a sweet man who happens to be married. We later meet his spouse, and she is a nice pretty lady in medical schooling. Why would this Dr. be unfaithful to his wife when she is such a nice person? First, do we know for a fact she is so nice? Maybe she has problems. Maybe their marriage has no spark. Maybe they made a wrong choice to marry. Or maybe Dr. Pomatter is under a lot of stress from his work and Jenna made him relax, like he said. And even if Dr. Pomatter's wife has faults, is that an excuse to be unfaithful? Of course no.
When Jenna finally meets Mrs. Pomatter, she realizes that the woman is good. Jenna has a bad husband, but sees that Dr. Pomatter has a good wife. She feels like a bad person and believes the affair must end, because she doesn't want any hearts broken. Dr. Pomatter isn't happy with this, but Jenna can't live with herself if she hurt his wife.
My comments about the affair itself. It did start out as all about the sex, but soon grows into a strong friendship that Jenna has needed for years. I am addicted to saying things and having them matter to someone, she says of Dr. Pomatter. She has felt alone for such a long time. Dr. Pomatter is attracted to her and sincerely loves and cares for her, and it has nothing to do with his wife. You can see he would never intentionally hurt his wife. He is a kind person. He seems to have a bond with Jenna, maybe that he does not have with his wife. They have long talks in which he strengthens and encourages her and makes her feel that yes, her dreams matter, and she has talents that will take her a long way. He helps her to see who she is, which has been obscured by Earl's demanding her to life her life around him.
I noticed that Jenna's love for baking pies seems to be an extention of her love for her mother. (Her father is not mentioned, and I wonder of that). Her mother is obviously deceased, and Jenna misses her painfully and believes she would be saddened to see Jenna so unhappy with life.
The Waitress is the flipside of movies like 9 Months, Look Who's Talking and the new movie Baby Momma. We are made to think that three things are most important for women: courtship, marriage and children. That is simply not so. Not for myself, nor for many other women. Jenna is one of us. She only wanted to make wonderful pies and bring happiness to people with them. She wanted to have her own business and win prizes for her pies and get recognition for her talent. There are those people who say artists are so narcisstic and self-centered (I have read bad reviews on this film) and they are made to feel like losers because they don't plan to have children, excluded from groups of women who want to sit in circles talking all at once about teething rings, hormone surges, day care prices and other utterly boring topics. Really, they are only having complaing contest anyway. Who is the best mother? Who is the biggest martyr who gave up her true dreams to have the three important things of women? There is no place for a childless happy woman in their midst.
The happy thing for the baby daughter is that Jenna loves her. She finally gets the courage to tell Earl she wants to divorce him. She started not wanting this child and not wanting motherhood because it would mean Earl would be in her life forever, but suddenly the strength and courage that Dr. Pomatter helped her to find come out. It is a moment of cheers for Jenna. From there, she finds her dreams and starts fresh with a new life with her baby.
The Waitress is a film everyone should see. It is a funny, emotionally rich work of art, tremendously life affirming and with a unique perspective women.
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