PLOT-CRUNCH:
Late for a meeting and stuck in traffic, medical student and professional brooder Chris (Harrington) takes a back woods road as a short cut and accidentally crashes into another car belonging to two couples and a tough chickadee (Dushku). Our fashionably dressed gang find themselves stranded in the woods and luckily for us, three deformed, inbred psycho loonies are there to keep them warm and fuzzy company. Take out the axe and give out some loving!
THE LOWDOWN:
"We are never going into the woods again!"-- Scott
The first words that came out of my mouth when leaving "Wrong Turn" were: "GOOD SHITE" and "I HAD A BLAST"! I could stop my review right here, but I’ll expand. This throwback to shameless 70’s style cannibal-family-on-the-rampage horror didn’t reinvent the torture table or bring much fresh meat to the grind, but it came out a big winner via a rock solid execution and an emphasis on an element that is always heart-warming to witness in this type of bloody bon-bon: unrestrained brutality!
Admittedly, the wide ass smile gracing my smug face throughout this watch were mostly derived from the film’s exploitive sugar which was heavily sprinkled about. It got all the right reactions out of me. I can’t count how many times I jumped in my seat, reacted loudly to a kill or wiggled around in gleeful anticipation as to what was going to go down next. The enthralling action scenes undeniably pushed all of my right “horror cum” buttons with the extensive stalk-and-hide “tree” jamboree serving as the highlight. That bit was definitely one for the bloody books! YEAH! The ample and “realistic” gore found in this madhouse also hit the spot in its extreme and refreshingly graphic nature (all about that decapitation). Tag to all that, a suspense quotient that was jacked up to HIGH volume and you get one intense buck and half.
On a character level, some of the players were “whatever” and it was very easy to pick out who would live and who would die…even in what order. Having said that, I had a riot playing the guessing game, being right all the time and watching the kids consequently checking out in messy ways. We all get our kicks in different ways compadres! Of the lot, my fav player was Chris (Harrington) who had my vote for the hippest cat in this gory litter. The man was a take charge, kool as ice, brave mofo and I was rooting for him like a cheerleader on speed. I also dug ”peace and love” Scott (played by the always money Jeremy Sisto) who had all the funniest lines as well. Eliza Dusku (playing Jesse) surprisingly didn’t have much to toy with in terms of characterization, as her white tank top and tight Jeans had more depth than her character. That being said, the last time I checked...that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. I loved her every moment on-screen and so did the animal in my pants. Lastly we had the big bad rabid fruitcakes in the yard. Props goes out to Stan Winston for creating a credible and frightening deformed family and to director Schmidt for knowing how much to show and not to show in order to retain the fear they should provoke in the audience. There was nothing complex about these relentless bums and I appreciated that-- they were stupid, ugly and enjoyed killing...a lot. My kind of nutballs!
But let’s face it, this isn’t “Hamlet” we’re talking about here...it’s a dirty horror sandwich that goes heavy on the sauce and the spices as it damn should. So even though the dialogue blew at times (if I hear “Hello, anybody here?” one more time...I’ll kill Ronald MacDonald), the characters made stupid moves (the tower…yeah, guys…great idea) and typical horror conventions were followed to a T (you give head…you RIP), it didn’t bother me much. Horror clichés and a cheesy vibe are not always negative for me, they’re part of the genre that I love and in some sittings...they’re part of the fun. This was one of those times.
Overall, "Wrong Turn" was a balls-to-the-wall horror ride that didn’t shy away from the goodies. What I got dealt here was a gripping, unapologetic genre film that occasionally wound up being really fun when it was bad-- in other words, it was hard for this one to fail in my eyes since I got so many different levels of enjoyment out of it. Ugly and scary mountain-men? Check! Lots of potent scares and nasty spills? Check! Hot teen chicks in minimal clothing? Check!! Intentional and unintentional laughs? Check!!! What else do you want in a horror whore? I don’t know about you, but I’m one happy camper. Viva Wrong Turn!
ACTING:
Desmond Harrington (Chris) underplayed it and his character’s strength really appealed to me. Class act. Eliza Dushku (Jesse) could’ve been playing a sheep and I still would’ve loved her. Her character was thinner than ice, but her magnetism and her hot looks kept my eyes glued. Emmanuelle Chriqui (Carly) showed off a solid delivery and one cute belly button. Jeremy Sisto (Scott) was mucho endearing and funny as hell. He made the bad lines sound good. I love this dude! Keep doing horror movies buddy! Linda Booth (Francine) didn’t have much to do here, but look yummy and did an awesome job at it. Linda, call me….I’m not kidding…call me. No, you don’t get it honey…CALL ME! !!
GORE:
How do I love my plasma...let me count the ways: dismembered bodies, arrows in the back, an arrow in the head (you bet!), barbed wire choking, a priceless decapitation and more! This one will give boners to gore hounds.
T & A:
Sadly, we didn’t get any blatant female nudity but hey man, can you go wrong with Linda Booth teasing us with her oranges and looking damn fine? Can you fail with Emmanuelle Chriqui displaying cleavage and that scrumptious belly button proudly? I didn’t think so. The ladies get Desmond Harrington’s flawless tan and Jeremy Sisto’s wild hair.
DIRECTING:
Schmidt did a bang-on job here, keeping it simple to maximize the impact of the film, while at times displaying the occasional “stylish” shot. There was definitely a gritty 70’s feel to the movie and it charmed the pants out of me. Add to that, a strong handle on delivering nail-biting tension and you get a well-rounded directing show. Good work Taco...do more horror!
SOUNDTRACK:
The aggressive score by Elia Cmiral was effective most of the way, but kind of went tacky during the softer scenes. We also got a couple of “generic” rock songs.
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